love anyway

 *i have changed the name of the woman I wrote about just to give some privacy where its due. I have blurred out her eyes for the same reason. 

Once the large masses of pregnant women get their bellies measured and babies’ heartbeats heard, it tends to slow down a bit in the antenatal ward. That’s where I was posted with 4 students on the day I met Fiona. When there’s not too much work to be done (and even sometimes where there is) I like to take time to just visit the patients, sit with them, pray for them, and be their friend. The aim is to be a blessing, but the majority of the time I think I walk away more blessed by them. African women are so sweet and kind. And they make me laugh.

Most of the women who are admitted to the antenatal ward are there because they have some type of serious problem affecting their pregnancy. The beds are lined up and the women admitted into them are piled on top of one another.

There’s never a shortage of prayers to be prayed or conversations to be had.

On this day, my attention was somehow drawn to a little side room with only two beds. When I walked in I saw a young women lying down tied to her bed. 

 

This wasn’t what had my attention though.

It was the putrid smell that was thick in the air that had the strange effect of both repulsing me drawing and me in all at the same time.

It didn’t take long for me to locate the culprit.  

Across from the woman who tied down to her bed I saw Fiona. Fiona’s breaths were  heavy and labored, as if she would take her last one at any moment. Her extremely frail body was contorted into such a way that you would think she was in the midst of an exorcism.  The tumors around her face and neck were painful to even look at.

I was sure in my mind she must have been both mentally and physically disabled and probably would have no idea I was even there.

But I knew I needed acknowledge her presence. I drew near to her face to say hello and I stroked the top of her head. She smiled the most beautiful smile.  It was then I realized it wasn’t a mental disability that subjected her to her bed.

It was however, a series of other life- threatening conditions;

Fiona was diagnosed with AIDS

Cancer

Tuberculosis

Anemia

And several other opportunistic infections.

As if this list from the pit of hell couldn’t get any worse, I quickly found out that not only is Fiona dying, but,  she is only 20 years old and just so happens to be 24 weeks pregnant. While she couldn’t have weighed more than 90 pounds, there below her protruding chest bones was a little tiny baby bump.  

These are those gut-wrenching scenarios that always presents with a lot of  “whys” and rarely have a lot of explanation.

Fiona cannot speak English, but even if she had been able to communicate with me-the grapefruit sized tumors around her face and neck robbed her of that opportunity.

It was in that moment my heart adopted Fiona. I was locked in. Connected. And committed to her case.

I, along with several other members from my team, committed to visiting this sweet girl as often as possible. The prognosis wasn’t good, but the prayers we prayed were fervent. And I had hope for her case. Often I would bring in the Doppler, which is a small machine that allows both of us to listen to the baby’s heart. We would hear it and both smile. Inside, I would let out a huge sigh of relief. I often feared for the life of her unborn child, and rightfully so -she was barely keeping herself alive, let alone the little on inside of her.

Some days Fiona was so sick and fragile I feared her last breath to be eminent. And then some days I would find her walking (slowly of course) in the hallway coming from a shower. She seemed to being doing okay.

I tried to get some background information on her, but it always proved to be impossible. Doctors weren’t around. Nurses weren’t aware. Fiona was a great mystery to me. If it weren’t for the ghostwriter in her medical file, I would have never known anything about this girl who had become my friend.  Somewhere in the thick pages of her case, I read that she was scheduled for a c-section in a couple weeks. I made a mental note of the date and ensured myself I’d be there for the surgery.

Then that fretful day came where I went into her room and she wasn’t there. I frantically asked around to find out where she had be taken.

She was in labor.

I rushed to the Special Observation Unit where I found her in one of the worst conditions I’d ever seen.

Her body can’t handle the agony of contractions. This woman has nothing left to give. How will she even push?

Doctors were in and out of the room.  They were incredibly concerned about her case. I was informed that the condition of her blood was so poor that while it was better for her to have a c-section because of her conditions, it would not be possible. Fiona’s blood was too weak and she lacked the ability for her blood to properly clot after the birth if they cut her open.  With a c-section she would surely bleed to death. If she delivered, she could also bleed to death, but with only a leap of faith, the doctors chose the lesser of the two evils.

“She needs prayer.”

I think I told every healthcare worker that came in to see her. And everyone just nodded in agreement. Countless times we were told, “she won’t survive the delivery.”  Without a doubt her prognosis was death. There was a greater possibility for the baby to survive (now at around 30 weeks gestation) but the mother had little hope.

Or at least that is what I was told. 

I knew I couldn’t leave her side until the baby was born. Someone had to be there to intercede. So I began to monitor her labor. I, along with a couple of the students took on the role of being her midwife. But she needed much more than midwifery care. She needed a miracle. So we stayed with her. We prayed, interceded, counted contractions, read scripture, changed her diaper, played worship music, took her vitals, listened to her baby’s heart rate, laughed a little, prayed some more and this cycle went on and on. The hours came and went and the labor barely progressed. With each passing moment Fiona loss more and more energy. All we could do was pray.

Several doctors and midwives came and went, often both touched and perplexed by our commitment to this one patient. In our time glued to Fiona’s bedside, we had several opportunities to speak with these doctors about God’s heart and His value for life and how necessary it is to depend on Him in our practice, because after all, He is the greatest Physician.

After about 11 hours with her, a couple other people from the team took over from us to watch her throughout the night and did the same thing.

Our team never left Fiona’s side. 

When the morning came, we made our way back to the hospital. Felt like I never left. She had dilated a couple more centimeters in the night, but wasn’t near ready to deliver.

The pain began to be unbearable for her and there wasn’t much we could do. The crew that stayed overnight had been there for over 12 hours (after already working a shift in the day) but they were prepared to stay even longer should it be necessary.

But before we knew it (and much sooner than we expected) Fiona was ready to deliver.

To say she was “weak,” would be a grand understatement. While her baby was estimated to weigh only around 3 pounds, she didn’t have the strength to push the little one out.

A couple hours after her birth

The doctor was called and a vacuum extraction was ordered.  We helped in every way that we could, but what was most needed was the presence of God. She could bleed to death in this very moment. It wasn’t a joke. It was the reality. Tension was thick in the air, but the Peace that passes all understanding drowned it out. Fiona’s little baby girl was born well, cried and was taken immediately into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

All hands were on board to prepare for a massive hemorrhage for Fiona.  But an amazing thing happened. She barely bled. Within minutes she was stable, cleaned up, wrapped up and recovering from her delivery.

Fiona's grandmother, thanks Grace with a big hug

Fiona was alive. Her baby was alive and God had answered our prayers. She was a miracle. Her grandmother came into the room and together we rejoiced over the life that was not lost.

There is no medical explanation as to why both her and her baby did so well for this delivery.  All fingers point to the God who heals and gives life, and answers prayers.

I feel blessed to be apart of seeing life when all that can be anticipated is death.  Fiona has a beautiful baby girl that we named Evelyn, which means life.

 





A week after Fiona’s delivery I was able to wheel her up to the NICU so that she could both meet and hold her baby girl for the first time. What a special moment. Because she had tuberculosis, she wasn’t able to stay in the ward long. But Fiona starred at her daughter and knew she was okay.

Fiona made the decision to sign the baby over to social welfare. Her mother had died of AIDS when she was just a child and she didn’t want her baby to watch her suffer. The baby was left for several weeks in the NICU. Just a tiny thing. She needed to be fed and held and loved and our team was more than willing to do all those things for her. What she needed most though, was a mommy.

 Fiona was growing stronger. She seemed to even be putting on weight. Her condition was the best I had ever seen.  And then one day, when I showed up to visit her she was gone. She had been discharged and would only be coming in to start receiving her chemotherapy. I felt so much hope for this hopeless case. God had done a miracle in her life already and now she seemed to be doing so much better. I knew chemotherapy would take a toll on her body, but somewhere in my mind I imaged her being totally healed and taking baby Evelyn back into her home to care for her.

However, on Tuesday I got news the Fiona had died.

I am still shocked to hear the news and I have no understanding of what happened. I’m just reminded that she did after all have AIDS and cancer. And while she seemed to be getting better, I know that with such conditions things can take a turn for the worst quickly.

I grieve the loss of this sweet young woman. I thank God that I was able to meet her and intercede for her. She was and still is a miracle. I am grateful to God that I can be certain that she labored in dignity.  She was cared for and loved by the love of the Father and my hope is that even though we weren’t there for her death, she would have still breathed her last breath in dignity as well. 

Evelyn has been placed in a home for babies. I just so happened to be at this home when she arrived from the hospital. I was able to give her  her first bath and first little outfit she ever had. She’s just still weighing about 3 pounds but she is a beautiful baby girl. Her blood tests have revealed her to be negative for HIV, which is just another one of the many miracles she is associated with. I have prayed countless prayers over this little child. She may never know the fight that was over her life. She wont know the many times she was fed and held and nurtured by foreign strangers who prayed prayers of hope for her but may her life always be anointed. I truly have faith that it will be.

zambia

I have safely arrived to Zambia. Its good to be back in the African culture, and exciting to come to a new nation (this is my first time here.) It was an adventure getting here, as expected when traveling across the world with 25 people.  The journey included an unexpected sleepover in Thailand and somewhat patiently sitting in the “airport” in Kenya for 7 hours.  But lo and behold we’ve arrived.

Sitting here, I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful to those who have given to me in order for me to be here. This year I needed to see $5,100 come in.

And I did.

That’s a miracle.

God is so generous.  People have been so generous. And I want to say another big THANK YOU to everyone who has contributed in anyway to make this trip possible.

Yesterday we jumped straight into work and began to serve in the Maternity Ward at one of the local hospitals here in Zambia. Just so happens that yesterday the Zambian midwives also went on strike at the hospital. So essentially we orientated ourselves. I had 6 students working with me in the labor ward. For most of the students, this was their first time even seeing a birth. And they got thrown right into the mix of things, possibly more than I would have preferred on their first day. But when the workers are few, other options become limited. It was a bit hectic, but overall the students did great.

I had the privilege of welcoming the schools first official little one into the world.  Preceding her 4 other siblings, Annabel was born crying and chubby, just as she should be. She did really well and came with little effort or difficulty to her part-time professional birthing mother.  African women are so strong.

I will keep you updated with stories to come.

With love,

Laura

from one mother to another campaign

 I'm in the process of fund raising right now.  I still need to see 3,500 dollars come in by this time next week. Its a daunting figure, but I have already been so blessed by the generosity of others and I am trusting that I will see the release of this money. If you would please pray about patterning with me as I trust to see these finances come in. Whether that just be committing to pray or financially contributing both are much needed and MUCH appreciated.

I never forget that everything I have been able to do in missions is because God has been faithful to me and part of His faithfulness is represented in sharing His generosity with me and through other people who give to me.

I am doing a campaign that you can see by clicking on the link below.
If you're interested in giving to me you can do that through this link or you can also give by the donate button on top of this blog.

God Bless you!!!

 http://fnd.us/c/8aYpf

the birth attendants

Hey! Notice some exciting changes to my blog.

On the right side there’s a white box that allows you to enter in your email and have my newest posts sent directly to your inbox!

Also, there’s a new donation option through paypal. You can now monthly "subscribe" (this means make monthly financial support to me) by clicking on the link and entering in your debit/credit information. You can also still use the “donate” button to just make a one time donation. Paypal wont charge you anything additional for using its services.

And while we’re on the topic, other ways of donating is through the organization I work with Youth With A Mission Perth. Here’s the link;

https://www.ywamperth.org.au/007/payonline.asp

On “step 1” it asks you to identify who the donation is for. Here you would just click on staff and enter my name

Sumithra learning how to use a stethoscope

And if you aren’t internet savy, but you know my parents you can always write a check, make it out to my name and hand it to my mom. She would be happy to put it in my bank account for me. (thanks mom!)

 














We are still in the lecture phase over here in Australia. This means that the students are in class 5 days a week learning how to be midwives in developing nations. More specifically they are learning how to be midwives who serve God first and how to use this skill in missions as a form of evangelism. Its really incredible to see people learning simple skill that will literally save lives. And even more than that, its so exciting to see these women getting Gods heart for the nations, His heart for motherhood and how He intended pregnant women to be treated, His heart for women and children, for the restoration of families, His heart for justice. They are learning how to pray, how to intercede, how to cultivate hope and faith in places where there seems to be none. With each lecture we have, every quiz that’s given, every workshop we practice in- God is preparing them and releasing them more and more into their calling. It’s a privilege to be apart of that. These are some incredible students. I am honored to work alongside and help lead these women as they prepare to go. They have left their homes, their countries, their families, their jobs and any security they have had to say yes to God and yes to responding to the desperate need of missionaries and healthcare workers for women, children, and families around the world.

An Aussie midwife teaching the students how to palpate a pregnant belly

Each of the students are trusting God for around $8,500 dollars in order to spend 8 months on the mission field. I am trusting for $5,500 in order to take them. (I’m going for a shorter time than them)  

If you would be interested in helping us get there you can use any of the payment options listed above. I have 5 weeks to see this money come in. If you know any businesses, organizations, or fundraisers that could help us get to Zambia, Ethiopia, and India please let me know. I need your help!

Bless you!


I am posting a link to a video that a previous Birth Attendant student made. It gives a bit more of a picture of some of the work that we will be doing. Feel free to share it!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK1pmSWZ2RU

 

the walk

I remember watching a clip on youtube about women in developing nations who have to walk for days sometimes in order to get medical attention when they go into labor. The clip alone was gripping, but here I was seeing the reality of what it actually looked like in real life. We traveled away from the city (by car, of course) for about two hours before we entered into the mountains. Unpaved, dirt roads.  Miles and miles to go. We watched the bit of “normal” African city civilianization slip away in the rear view mirror with each passing hour.  Open farm fields decorated with women and babies tied onto their backs plowing away on the fields.  The road was so bumpy I began to feel nauseous by the ride.  But this clip from youtube burned in the back of my mind. As I look out and saw nothing but land and lack of civilization for as far as I could see -I couldn’t help but think of the women who go into labor here.

What can they do?

Since the beginning of time women have been delivering babies on their own. So I know it’s possible. But I also know that Ethiopia has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world. And lowest number of midwives. I think there obviously has to be a correlation here. Just because women can give birth alone doesn’t mean they should have to.

When we finally made it to the small village that we would be staying in, we immediately went to the only “hospital” that was anywhere in sight. Efforts are surely made by the government to provide some kind of help for their people. But with lack of resources, finances, and knowledge -its nowhere even close to where it needs to be.  There are not enough doctors working and the hospital is hardly located in a place easily accessible to the majority of the people in the village. It’s no surprise that it’s the women who will be the most quickly overlooked persons in the community.

We have to go to Ethiopia. There is such a need.

But how do I go about bringing the school I work with here? We’ve never been before and there is so much legality and bureaucracy involved with bringing missionary midwives into a nation to work. And I’m not really the most likely of people to organize such a giant task.

Regardless of how I unequipped I felt though, the reality of the need outweighed my doubt in being the right person for the job. So- unsure of myself and desperate for the guidance of God, my good friend Maj and I began meetings with officials at the Ministry of Health Departments, had long talks with Visa and Immigration officers and met with several different Superintendent Doctors of the local government hospitals.  Divine appointment after divine appointment, with doors that could only be opened by God- we were able to make the right connections.

So it comes with great excitement for me to announce that the school will be pioneering a new country this year. We will head to Ethiopia right after Christmas to work for around 13 weeks in the local maternity hospitals. This is really exciting!!! Ethiopia is in great need of hope and we get to see 21 God-fearing midwife students respond to a huge need in Africa.

We will first be heading to Zambia to work for 12 weeks before flying over to Ethiopia.

Please pray that all the opportunities that were presented will come to be, and that we will have favor with immigration and permission to work.  In addition, we need to see a huge release of finances in order to go. Personally, I am trusting to see around $5,000 dollars come in. Thank you for your prayers !!

waka waka, it's time for Africa

Ethiopia

  

A beautiful land. A rich culture. Stunning people.

I had the opportunity to do mission work there in 2008. I fell in love with the country and with its people and their kind spirits and hospitable ways. I have traveled to a decent amount of countries and each place I go I seem to love a little more than I thought I could. I love the nations though. I love experiencing new ones and I always hope for the opportunity to return to ones I’ve visited before. So when the Lord started highlighting this country to me a year and a half ago I didn’t put too much thought into it. I prayed. I interceded. I recalled fond memories. I thought about going back some time but I didn't expect it to be such a persistent loitering thought in my mind-

So much that I had to start asking that question:

God, do you want me to go there?

I remember one evening in class we watched a documentary called A Walk to Beautiful. (A film about women who suffer from obstetric fistulas in Ethiopia)  I had seen the film before and it had definitely made an impact on me- but when I watched again this time it stirred a response in me I didn’t expect. I felt so broken and burdened by the reality of what the women in Ethiopia are suffering from that I immediately knew I had to respond to the need. I wept. I mean the messy, uncontrollable, unattractive type of weeping. I think in that moment the Father revealed His heart to me and He showed me it was breaking over these circumstances.

So after a couple trips to India, a couple stops in America, a stint in East Africa, and settling into Australia I finally feel like waka, waka Shakira you are right -it is time for Africa!  (if even just one of you get that reference I'll be satisfied.)

Ah! I am so excited. 

This landlocked nation on the Horn of Africa has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world.  Too many girls and women continue to die unnecessarily in pregnancy and childbirth. Those who survive often experience debilitating injuries because of inadequate medical care. Only 6% of births are attended to by a skilled healthcare worker.

I know these might just seem like facts to you. But images of real women I've seen suffer are burned into my mind. It's not just a statistic. It's mothers and daughters and actual human beings that the Lord cares deeply for.  

So I am going to Ethiopia for a short trip and I don't really know what to expect from it. But I know I heard the voice of God and I have to respond to it. I am going to search, to seek, to discover. I am going to help, to heal, to serve, to love. 

I am needing to raise around $3,000 for this trip. Would you consider helping me get there? The fact is I need funding to be able to go and to provide while I am there. There's a donate button at the top of my page. I don't want to feel like I have to pitch a sale to get there. I just know that someone has got to go and I'm saying I am willing. So if you're willing to be apart of this financially I truly would appreciate it.

Bless you all. Love you and look forward to filling you in on details as they come. The set date for the trip right now is May 12th!

Simply do the next thing in love.

Can I just start off by saying that I am sitting here and I can't stop thinking that God is so good.

 "Fire of love, crazy over what You have made. Oh, divine Madman. (Prayer of Catherine Siena)

Simply do the next thing in love. 

I have no sense of myself apart from you."

What an incredibly loving and generous Father we serve. 

I’m back in Las Vegas.

I’m home and I’m away from home all at the same time.  I’ve kind of learned to live by the mantra that “home is where you lay your head at night.”

Over the last year I’ve laid my head in a lot of places and subsequently allowed my home to be spread across the globe.  I’ve laid under mosquito nets in Tanzania, boats in Uganda, a borrowed mattress in Australia, and a sad idea of a bed in India. I’ve laid my head in more airports than I would care to count and now here I am, lying in the place that I come from- surrounded by the people I love.  

It’s so nice to be with family.

I And it’s so nice to see people who know who I was and not just who I am. There’s history in this home and there’s just something I can always appreciate about history.

I’ve had the privilege of spending some time with some incredible people who care about my work and support me in what I am doing.  Thank you to everyone who has made this trip refreshing for me. Thank you to my church who continuously provides a platform for me to go and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I am so blessed to come from such a church! I am especially grateful for my parents, who are the greatest examples of how to make the word “generous” a noun. They are impeccable people.  

I must apologize, once again, for my lack of updates that have come through my blog. Since returning to Australia in December I have been through a lot of transitioning. Besides the biggest transition of stepping away from midwifery for a bit and joining some different ministries with YWAM, I have also been moving! Man, who knew moving could be so time consuming? I live in a house that accommodates 13 single girls. (The joys of community living in missions!) However, only 4 of us are currently in the country and/or available to make the big move. Internet hasn’t been connected yet- but really I am just making a lot of excuses. It’s humbling to know that people are even reading my blabbering…. But I am incredibly grateful that you do. Thank you for following me and sharing in on my stories.

I feel like there is so much to share so as I type I am trying to figure out how to communicate it all in a time efficient way.

I can start with what I am up to at the moment- besides being Stateside.

Back in Australia I have begun to work with a ministry that deals with human trafficking and prostitution. It’s a huge change from working in the hospitals and delivering babies, but it has been an incredibly eye opening experience to see the huge need that there is for this type of ministry in our world.  I have stories and I will be sharing them in due time. For now I guess it is just significant to know that it hasn’t been easy to be away from the work that I love. But I am learning to serve in missions in different ways and because I am still working so closely for justice issues with women and children it is not completely away from what my heart desires.  It is definitely an opportunity to serve in a real practical way. Prostitution grosses $30 million annually in Australia and there are 3,000 children, some younger than 10, in the Australian sex industry. It’s appalling!

The next Birth Attendant School will be starting in July so in the mean time I will continue to work in Australia. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the next set of eager students to come and learn the practical skills needed to serve the women of the nations. Currently the team that I took to India has just arrived in Zambia for the last 2.5 months of their training. Their work continues to be incredibly fruitful as they are serving the women and healthcare workers in Africa. They have some incredible stories!

I am hoping to be able to take a trip to Ethiopia before the next school runs. The Lord has placed a burden on my heart to learn more about obstetric fistulas. The UNFPA stated, “Every day nearly 800 women die from complications of pregnancy. For every woman who dies, 20 or more are injured or disabled.

One of the most serious injuries of childbearing is obstetric fistula, a hole in the vagina or rectum caused by labor that is prolonged – often for days – without treatment. Usually the baby dies. Because the fistula leaves women leaking urine or feces, or both, it typically results in social isolation, depression and deepening poverty. Left untreated, fistula can lead to chronic medical problems.

Like maternal mortality, fistula is almost entirely preventable. Yet at least 2 million women in sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia and the Arab region are living with fistula, and some 50,000 to 100,000 new cases develop each year. The persistence of fistula is a signal that health systems are failing to meet the needs of women.”

The thing that really gets me is that obstetric fistulas are totally preventable and treatable! Women need to be educated. They need trained healthcare workers and they need access to treatment.

That’s why I have to go. 

“Fistula is a serious problem in Ethiopia, one of the poorest countries in the world. The maternal death rate is among the highest in the world. Pregnant women customarily deliver at home with only a female elder in attendance. The closest skilled doctor may be hundreds of miles away. In fact, the number of obstetricians and gynecologists is abysmally low — just one for roughly every 350,000 citizens.”

I know for the time being God has stirred in me a desire to physically respond to the need in the nations. He is sharing His heart with me. I love when He does that. So with a lot of question marks I am moving forward with planning this trip. As soon as I know more I will gladly share.

 

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations..

It's 2013! And I am in Australia. I am aware a proper update is in order. And one is certainly on it's way, but first I must semi-close up my time in India:

We left the busy city, the obnoxious horns, the hospital with too many deliveries too count, the old and new friends we’d made over the last couple months and we finally made our way to the village- the last leg of our journey.  About 3 weeks left. It was refreshing to see a quieter side of India. Small town farming feel. Upon arrival we were warmly welcomed by a pastor and his extended family. We moved into their house and started life with them. We slept on the floor and ate too much rice and got extravagantly loved by amazing people.  It was a big transition for our team but one that we enjoyed. Living with an Indian family was a privilege.  We partnered with them in some of their local slum ministry and we went back to work in the hospital. This hospital was a much slower pace, but it was a great learning opportunity for the students and a great opportunity for us all to serve. Outside of the labor room we also got to work in antenatal care, postnatal care, immunizations, pediatrics wards, gynecology wards and in the operating room.  I also got to spend a day in a leprosy ward. I was first educated on the signs and symptoms of this ancient disease and then I walked into a room and got to see them all firsthand. What an experience. Outcasts. Shunned from their community. Crippled. Blind. Alone. Poor. And all of it is preventable.

It hasn’t been easy being exposed to all these things. But the more I see, the more I love healthcare. I love what it can mean for people of the nations. There is hope in healthcare. There is healing in healthcare. And there is definitely Jesus in healthcare.

I read this quote by Henri Nouwen;

“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”

Healthcare teaches me compassion. I have gone where it hurts. I have shared in the brokenness. I have mourned and I have wept. I have been weak and vulnerable and powerless. And it hasn’t been easy. That’s for sure. But the thing I like so much about this quote is that it says this is the “condition of being human.” I think that’s spot on. Things are not the way God intended them to be. This isn’t Eden. And being a human and having emotions and feelings and knowing what it means to suffer – in whatever capacity it may be- hurts. There is no sugar coating it. But that’s where the hope of Christ comes in. And I have to tell the world there is hope. That’s my mandate.  And I have found my avenue to do that in- and that’s through healthcare.  And that’s why the last couple months I have been able to accept the title of “missionary” that’s been associated with my name. That hasn’t always been easy for me. A missionary? Isn’t that for flowy-skirt-wearing-women and home-schooled kids?

Maybe.

But it’s not limited to that.

Over the last couple months there has definitely been some clarity brought to my blurred vision of missions.

It’s being obedient to the great commission. It’s walking out compassion. It’s love. It’s freedom. It’s sacrifice. It’s hope. It’s God’s heart- that all His children would be reunited with Him. 

So while the world may suck at times, and babies may die, and people may lose their limbs by an age-old disease, and hearts get broken, and cancer is rampant, and people starve- we can still hold on to truth. 

Jesus loves.

And people need to know His love. 

So whether I have to wear a flowy-skirt or not, I want to share that love with the world.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

I'm definitely in a transitional period now and the way I fulfilling the great commission is looking a bit different than it has been for me for the last year and a half- but it's good. I am learning the ins and out of missions. And it's taking some adjusting and getting used to but I am seeing the value in what I am doing now. 

I will expand more shortly.

Hope everyone had a lovely holiday with friends and family. 

Happy New Year.