who said, "all good things must come to an end?"

I finished my last week of ministry. I can hardly believe it is ending.

Out of everything I have seen and done and been apart of this year, I may be more surprised by the fact that I’m finishing than anything else.

An end?

I knew in that there was one in theory.  Somewhere out in the deep dark yonder there was a closing to this school. But now, all of the sudden, its at finger tips length. I can almost reach out and touch it. And even though I feel as though I’d like to run from it- seems as though I don’t have a choice. My time is definitely coming to a finish.

Comes with a lot of emotions. Sad to leave this life behind.  To walk away from Africa and the simple lifestyle of living in a third world nation. I love what I do, why would I want to leave it?  It has only been 8 months, but the most life altering, eye-opening 8 months of my life. It seems impossible to part with the girls on my team The ones that once were once just good acquaintances but now part of my family line. They are my sisters. What does a world without them look like everyday?  How can I live in a world that doesn’t allow me to rub the belly of every pregnant woman that I see? Part of me- a big part of me isn’t ready to return. This has become my reality and even in the toughness of it I cant help but think, “don’t make me go back.”

And yet, in the same breath-I’m constantly aware that someday soon I’ll get to hug my mom again. I’ll see my family and not just through a computer screen but in person. I’ll get to share the stories I haven’t gotten to write about and then I get hear stories about what’s been happening in the lives of the ones I love so much. I get to go home.  I get to meet my new cousin- who I was hoping would hangout an extra 8 months in my aunts womb before she came out, but to my great disappointment, decided to be a normal baby. (Just kidding Zo. I’m glad you’re here now, but as pay back I think your betrothed to my midwifery skills- someday I get to deliver your babies.)

Eleven months ago, when I left home, I left behind the people I love most in this world. Never once has that been an easy thing to do. Missing birthdays and anniversaries. Family trips and Christmas. Seeing pictures of my loved ones and feeling the sting of not being amongst them.  It’s been hard. My life that I have come to love so much has not been without sacrifice. But now, all the sudden, I get to see my family and friends again.  And I am so excited for that.

Basically, I am the epitome of mix emotions.

I recently heard someone say, “We all have those defining moments in life …where we will never be the same again… and you can look back in your life and know that God engineered something in you and you knew it would forever change you.”

This year was it for me. It was defining.

Today is our last official day here. It is filled with packing and cleaning and purchasing souvenirs and trying to find a way to figure out how to live amongst other white people again someday soon. We are processing and debriefing and mostly just enjoying each other’s company.  I fly out of Uganda in tomorrow, reach Dubai and then make my way back to the land down under on the 24^th of May. Be praying for me as I learn to adjust. As I travel, once again, and as I say goodbye to the only life that’s really ever made so much sense to me.