Sometimes the hospital isn't an easy place to be. I am grateful for the many opportunities I have to learn and to work with women and babies and even doctors and nurses, but most of the time this job proves to be a constant roller coaster of emotions. I love every second of it. But in the midst of celebrating life you have to battle death and there's nothing that can suck the joy out of a person quicker than seeing dead babies on a constant basis. I am learning though that joy cannot be based on your environment or on your circumstances. Joy is a choice. And choosing joy cannot be a temporary choice. The second part of Nehemiah 8:10 says, "Don't be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong." (NCV) Joy. It's the very nature of who God is. I wonder though, how to find joy in certain circumstances.
A couple weeks ago I finished my shift in the labor room but for some reason I wandered back in (hard to leave a place you really love, I guess.) When I came in I noticed my friend, Maj laboring with a woman. The baby was crowning and the mother was connected to an IV-looking exhausted, sickly, and unable to bear down enough to deliver. She was extremely thin. Maybe 90 pounds and she was full term. I was drawn to the situation because Maj is actually a midwife student back in her hometown in Denmark. I saw that she was doing a delivery and I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn from her. I guess I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. Maj looked at me slightly concerned, "Are you going to be okay with this?"
I quickly realized this woman, Padma, who was malnourished, with a severe case of jaundice, and a liver disease would have to fight through her violent pain to deliver a dead baby.
How do you encourage a weak, sick woman to go through some of the most excruciating pain of her life just to push out a baby who has already died? What do you do in this situation? The student part of me was eager to learn exactly what to do. But the human part of me knew that what this woman needed was to be loved. I came close to her face and looked into her eyes. Death tried to creep in and look back at me. I wish she could have understood english in that moment. While it would have been hard enough to find words in my native language to share with her, it was even more disheartening knowing she had no idea what I was saying to her. Her eyes kept closing and rolling back. I prayed for her. I knew the situation could be more dangerous than just the loss of her baby. What would the trauma of delivering a baby do to her fragile body? After some time of some inconsistent and feeble pushes the lifeless baby boy came out of his mother and severely dangerous amounts of blood immediately followed. Blood splashed onto my legs and drenched my shoes. Maj had to insert the better part of her arm into Padma in order to compress the uterus and control the bleeding. She was postpartum hemorrhaging, which is a severe complication that can follow births. The bleeding wouldn't stop. I wandered how someone so little could produce such an immense amount of blood.
"Will this be the first death of a mother I see?" I thought.
It can't be. Our prayers became more frevernt.
I must say, for the very first time I was grateful for the response that came from the doctors and other health care workers at our hospital. They actually got involved. Specialist came in and tried to assist in stopping the hemorrhaging. The woman kept losing consciousnesses and her oxygen intake became severely low. This situation was overwhelming, but in the moment you just don't have much time to think about it. The family was allowed into the room. I think because the doctors knew she could very well be taking her last breaths at any moment. Padma was hooked up to blood that her family had to provide themselves and bring in. It began to pump into her veins. After around 2 hours of fighting for her life, Padma became more stable. Eventually the bleeding was controlled and began to subside. Maybe it was a miracle? Maybe her life was saved by our prayers, or maybe by the knowledge and understanding of how to treat Postpartum Hemorrhaging that came from the doctors. Maybe a combination of the both?
This is not really the question that I thought about though. I am grateful that Padma survived. However, I wonder, how could this have been prevented? Why was she so thin and so sick and why hadn't she received any help before her delivery? This whole situation was so unnecessary. I believe that her baby could have lived. I believe she had the right to be cared for. And fed. I believe that someone could have done something. But nothing was done. And I'm not sure who, if anyone, is to blame for that? This woman lost her baby and almost lost her life. I know that God did not intend this incredible gift of life to cause death. And I am here, and I am helping but these types of situations can often arise and try to steal my joy. That is why I know I cannot put my hope in my circumstances. I cannot look for joy in things of the world because I will constantly be robbed of them. But the everlasting joy of the Lord must be my strength. I hope and pray that I can be apart of preventing these types of things from happening. Padma did not lose her life on this day, but many woman in the same situation have. I hope to be apart of seeing preventable maternal deaths become demolished...because we have the ability and capacity to stop them.
 |
| Padma, before she delivered. |
No comments:
Post a Comment