aussie aussie aussie?

So I find myself back in the Land Down Under. I’m snuggled up in a sweater (that they refer to as a “jumper”) and I am wearing boots and a scarf and a jacket and I’m somehow still cold. It’s the dead of the winter and I’m trying to figure out how to transition from the scorching Las Vegas sun to the cold winter nights here in Perth. What a big world we live in.

While the weather may be the most abrupt change in my life it seems minuscule in comparison to the other kind of transitions I am trying to make.  I find myself still trying to process my last 9 months. Often sitting with the memories of the hospital, I can still envision many of the women I worked with.  My experiences seem real, sometimes more painfully real than I’m prepared to deal with, but they also seem like an abstract idea. Did I really just do that?

Yeah- I did. And the joy and the pain that I carry around with me in my heart as a result of it acts as a constant reminder for me.

It reminds me that I walked through some difficult times. I saw death on a daily basis. But I also saw life and I saw miracles and I saw Gods heart. And I watched Him move in the nations amongst the women He loves so dearly.

 I’m so grateful for what I got to do and be apart of. And I’m so grateful I get to continue being apart of this.

But today I didn’t work in a hospital. I didn’t deliver a baby and I’m not sure I even saw a pregnant woman? So Lord, why’d You call me here? Why am sitting I in Australia when the need is elsewhere?

As I have adjusted back into this culture this question has come up several times. A new group of students arrived last weekend and on Monday we began the school, once again. I’m still sitting in the class and I’m definitely still learning but this time I’m not considered the student. I’m the staff. Responsible for discipling and leading these women into being God-fearing and good midwives! So as I help prepare things for lectures and make rosters and spend more hours starring at a computer screen than I ever imagined in my life, I have to stop and think about what I’m doing. It was easy to see the fruit of my labor in the labor room but this proves to be more difficult. Who would have thought…getting away from the death and the chaos and only then being greeted with uncertainty.   

What I mean to say is- when you’re a missionary and you are working in a hospital in Africa and you’re delivering babies it’s pretty easy to see that your hard work is making a difference in the nations. It’s easy to see God’s heart and hear His voice. But when you’re sitting in an office and all the sudden you go to bed without any blood on your elbows -it’s hard to see any value in the work you’re doing.  It’s easy to feel useless. And yet, somehow, God in all His beauty, patience, and graciousness has continued to teach me. And I continue to be humbled by His wisdom. As the Lord gently reminded me this week, the type of work I am doing right now is not only equally important, but its also completely necessary. Knowing that part of going into the nations requires equipping people to go. Knowing I’m spending hours making rosters for Gods Kingdom makes it not only easier, but actually more enjoyable. And I get to be apart of others answering the call God has on their life. I get to help train and see Godly midwives sent out to the nations. Out to help the women who I care about so deeply.

We need more workers and here they are and I get to be with them!

It’s just such a privilege.

So while I wont stop missing the labor room (I just cant) I have come to realize that this is where I’m called to be. I am being stretched and challenged with new things. I am getting the opportunity, once again, to be apart of something so much bigger than myself. I look forward to the day I get to welcome life into the world again (just 21/2 months away) but I also look forward to Monday- when classes start again and I get to see the students getting a heart for the same thing I have a heart for.

And that’s amazing. 

I look forward to keeping you updated over the next couple months. Thanks for your support.

love you.