I just had my last day at the hospital here in Tanzania.

I’m not quite sure how to say bye to this place, but in just a few days I am gonna have to. I will board a bus (sans air conditioner mind you) and I will be on a 24 hour adventure through Africa. Driving through Tanzania, popping off quickly for transit visas in Kenya and then settling at a new home in Uganda. 

And I have high hopes of seeing a giraffe along the way.

I think its official now. I’m a vagabond. Just when I start to get really comfortable with a culture, just when I think I have them figured out and I can see myself sticking around-I get pulled out and planted somewhere else.

Australia. India. Now Tanzania.

I’m not complaining though. The last 9 months of my life have been nothing outside of excellent.  

As a midwife, I can choose to stop and reflect on the significance of “9 months”

Conception, being formed, growing. In just a few short months I wont be able to be a student anymore.  While I know I will always be learning in this line of work, I will soon be expected to teach others the skills I have been desperately trying to master. Am I there yet? Am I capable of teaching someone else how to be a midwife? Questions I sometimes find myself thinking about. But as I have seen time and time and time again, there’s always grace when you’re where you’re supposed to be. God doesn’t call us and then leave us. He molds us and shapes us and then He uses us. So while I recognize the reality of my future life, I don’t find myself overwhelmed by the idea. And thankfully I still have two months of practice to conquer anything I’m feeling uncomfortable with.

As I reflect on who I was when I first arrived here at the end of December and who I am today, I can acknowledge a significant amount of growth, both personally and “professionally.”  It’s good to know that. It’s good to know my work was not in vain. My blood, sweat, and tears or more importantly, the blood, sweat, and tears of the women I worked with was not without purpose or cause. I’m more the person I want to be today than I was 3 months ago- and I’m grateful that I have been in an environment that allowed for that kind of growth.  I worked with a lot of women. I delivered babies. I watched surgeries. I gave shots and drew blood. Checked BP’s and gave IV’s. I did prenatal care and postnatal checks. I prayed, a lot. I dealt with complications. I saw death. I saw life and I always tried to remember to do it all so His will can be done on earth as it is in heaven. It has been a truly rewarding experience.

So saying goodbye at the hospital proved to be as hard as I expected it to be.

I really wont be coming through these doors on Monday morning? I really wont work here or belong here anymore. I continuously thought this to myself throughout the day.

I think I’m ready to move forward but it doesn’t make it easy to say goodbye. I have established myself here. I have made friendships with the doctors and the nurses. I have grown as midwife. I have learned so much. I have grown as an individual. I have been stretched and sharpened. Tried and tired. I have laughed. I have cried. I have learned from mistakes.  I’ve been exhausted, overwhelmed, worn out and weary. I have been excited, eager, and filled with an overwhelming sense of joy. 

I been fortunate to experience all of it.

I love the women I have worked with. While I may not remember all of their names, their story and our brief encounter with one another has been etched into my heart. I am touched by their by womanhood, by their strength and their endurance. Their willingness to give birth and then grow families in an environment that many people in my country would call “unsuitable for children.”  But they’re more than capable. They’re poor. They might even sometimes be broken and hurt and lonely but they are lovely. And they know how to value their motherhood and see the importance of their family. And when they smile you know they mean it.  

What’s in store for us in Uganda still remains a bit of a mystery. Talks of more work in hospitals, teaching healthcare seminars, providing antenatal care in villages off of Lake Victoria, and working in clinics, have all been some of the suggested possibilities-but it seems like everything is up in the air right now. It will be my last 6 weeks of this school. Please be praying for me during this time.  I am not ready to check out. I do have to admit it feels a bit strange to not have a concrete plan for our time there, but hey, it leaves room for some adventure and I’m always up for that.

So I’ll be signing off  now… until Uganda.

Love you.

having some fun donating blood before I go..

home visits.

what a beautiful people

friends

more friends

having a water balloon fight for someones birthday

I forced my team into humoring me with a Seder dinner last night.

I enjoyed it